I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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