Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
