tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
