i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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