Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
