yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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