You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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