i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
