Tell her she can't have a vagina
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
