So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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