Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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