i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
