Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
