If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
