It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
