just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
