im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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