Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
