im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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