8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
