Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
