Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
