whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
