Church boner. Awkwardddd
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
