seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
