it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
