when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
