just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
