He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
