where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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