big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
