We got so high we made milksteak
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
