Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
