what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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