Where did you get a picture of my penis
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
