the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You can't motorboat a personality
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
