If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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