She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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