I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
