He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
