He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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