Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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