I don't think brook has ever known best
Welp...herpes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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