wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
