He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
