1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
