Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
