Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am naked and annoyed.
i think i just lost a toe
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
