there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
