did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
