omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
