Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
