I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
